I'm worried I've been neglecting wind instruments on this site. Now Keith Serpent has inspired me to correct matters, by putting a recorder on Ebay with a starting price of £1,500. Obviously it's pretty special. It's made of vintage real ivory (70 years old) and set to baroque tuning (so A is 415hz, not the usual 440). So, yes, it's made of a dead elephant and it won't be in tune if you're jamming along with your mate's guitar. Keith calls himself Keith Serpent, but I'm guessing he's Keith Rodgers, who made the recorder and now works for Christopher Monk Instruments, who are the people to go to if you want to buy a serpent - those huge crazy-looking 17th century wind instruments. And who wouldn't want to buy a serpent?