25 ways to kill a piano

A couple of years ago, one of the angriest comment threads ever on Music Thing concerned a bunch of students in Aberystwyth who bought a piano on Freecycle, put it on a beach, burned it, and said it was art. Today, YouTube is stuffed with people being mean to pianos. Damn, you must have had some bad piano teachers...

1. Throw it off a cliff, set fire to it
2. Shoot it with shotguns and an AK47
3. Knock it over and jump on it
4. Jens Johansson (who is Yngwie Malmsteen's keyboard player) smashes up an old piano while giggling hysterically
5. Back a pickup truck into it
6. Play it with a JCB digger (this one really is the stuff of nightmares)
7. Drive over it in an enormous truck
8. Put on a leather coat and fill it with fireworks
9. Smash it and sample it
10. Fire it from a trebuchet (or here at Burning Man, where presumably it's performance art)
11. Throw it down a hill
12. Burn it and call it art (again)
13. Pull it off the back of a moving pickup truck
14. Drag it behind a pickup truck
15. Chop it with an axe
16. Hit it with a sldege hammer
17. Throw it off a building (Warning: Video contains giggling MIT students, where they've been doing it since 1972)
18. Bash two together
19. Drop it off a fork lift truck
20. Drive a car into a piano shop
21. Blow it up
22. In the interests of fairness, here's an organ getting smashed by giggling metal fans
23. Use a burning acoustic guitar to set it alight
24. Throw stuff at it
25. Blow up a grand piano with really a lot of TNT

(Idea from Michael, whose new book Sod Abroad will make you chuckle)