Five incredibly vile pianos worth $1.2m

Through some unfortunate twist of fate, many of the world's most unpleasant-looking pianos are simultaneously for sale on eBay US:
1) Swarovski Bosendorfer - $750,000 Here's an idea. Take a fantastic piano. Cover it in silver spray paint. Attach fake jewels. Attempt to sell for three quarters of a million dollars.
2) Hand Painted Kawai Grand - $19,500 Got a piano? Got a crazy wife with a paintbrush? Got a divorce? The description says: "All the work was done in Europe. All the art on the piano was made by hand by a European artist." What is that, an excuse?
3) Deck of cards Steinway - $32,000 Maybe in 1943 (when this was made). Maybe in a casino in Vegas. Maybe. But in some frat-boy banker's pool room?
4)Yamaha Disklavier - $299,000 Only 5 in the world? Thank God. Looks like a £40 home keyboard mated with an old Hewlett Packard PC. Does it have light-up keys?
5) 1897 Steinway B Cherubs $125,000 Sure, it's old. Does that make tasteful? It's not even French...

"Hand Painted Kawai Grand - $19,500 "

I knew a guy who had the same thing painted on the side of his van. I wonder if he used the same European Artist.
The Yamaha Disklavier system is actually quite cool. It's essentially MIDI for a real, acoustic piano, giving the ability to program 'performances' on a computer, then have them played back on the piano. It also gives the ability to record performances, recording velocity, notes, pedals, etc.

I don't know if this particular one is really worth that much as opposed to getting a piano with the most recent system, and it is definitely not the nicest looking thing I've seen, but still...

Keith Fullerton Whitman composed a beautiful piece of music that utilizes the Disklavier on his album Multiples called "Stereo Music For Yamaha Disklavier Prototype, Electric Guitar, And Computer".

As for the rest of the pianos, I really only have one thing to say: That's unfortunate.
Yeah well I got a piano for $125 a couple months ago and it's in tune and plays great. here's some pics:
I quite liked the deck of cards one. The louis XIV (is it not?) made me throw up in my mouth.
Sans the tacky beige/black computer screens, that Disklavier is rad. And as Tristan said, the Disklavier pianos are highly advanced MIDI player pianos, e.g.
Haha $1.2 million! Incredibly vile...that's an understatement!

"90s Music Videos".
I work at a piano museum where we have some wacky pianos (including one with a transpose lever!) but these are just plain foul! Disclaviers are cool but only when they come in glossy black. For shame Yamaha, for shame......
anyone else notice that Tom has seemed a bit surly as of late?

not that I'm complaining... its good for a laugh.

... but Tom? everything ok at home?
My girlfriend has a nice Baldwin baby grand that has full midi capabilities. I know she didn't pay anywhere near $299,000 for it, so what makes these yamaha disklaviers so special? It's not like adding midi functionality to pianos is technology exclusive to yamaha.
Check out for what can be done with a Disklavier. Not for the purists but it's a fabulous use of technology. I have the Glenn Gould Re-performance album (Bach Goldberg variations) and it's mighty nice to sit there next to Glenn Gould in the binaural part (i.e. headphone time!) of the the hybrid SACD. Try it!
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